Tips Tuesday – A New Beginning
Yes we have all been there. Either by choice or by happenstance, a New Beginning can instigate feelings of excitement, apprehension, joy, fear, doubt and euphoria. It’s learning how to go with the flow of events while still maintaining your sanity that can be seemingly impossible. Like trying to tread water in rapids. It isn’t easy, pretty nor does it feel natural, but low and behold, Nature IS Change. Things in life are constantly evolving shifting changing. Either violently and instantly like a volcano during which you simply must attempt to maintain all of your limbs, OR gentle and almost undetectable like the eroding of rocks by a river, like when you realize your kid is going to college and you forgot he wasn’t 5? We have all experienced both I’m sure. But we know the days will come again where we will be faced with the inevitable welcomed or unwelcomed presence of change. I have found some years offer multitudes of change, like the one we are in, for us, while other years seem status quo. We have moved Hybrid Hair and Detox Spa, and the Institute For Harmonious Living to St Jacobs, and we will soon be moving our family home to Mount Forest. These decisions were blended in motivation between choice and necessity. This complicates things a bit. On one hand it’s exciting and filled with anticipation and joy. On the other side it is met with fear that we could be causing ourselves more stress or challenge to our already busy lives, while simultaneously grieving the ending of an era. One thing I love about the universe is that it will take these reflective opportunities to force you to face head on and truly commit to what you really want. I have found that when sharing our news of change that some people have joined in our celebration with support and mutual appreciation for striving towards goals and attaining them. While others will meet this announcement of courageous transformation with fear and intrepidation, reflecting back to you your insecurities and seconding guessing. What to do with this? As your stomach knots and twists. Embrace it as an opportunity to recognize that there is something in you that needs to be released, or forgiven or accepted. No courageous act of change is without a little a bit of pain as the old self is shed and the new vulnerable self emerges. In response to such ‘Neh’ sayers you are gifted with the opportunity to remind yourself why you chose this new path, re-inspiring yourself to the new opportunities awaiting you. Or you could allow the negative fear eat away at the precious gift that lays before you in the unknown. The Choice is yours.
Where change hits you like a tsunami, with gail forced winds and destructive results, change is at it’s most violent and relentless. Noone outside of you can soothe the impact and hurt that you could feel. However, these moments can also prove necessary to shake you up in a way that you had never entertained otherwise. Either way the decision of how this is integrated in to your life is yours. Years following this event staying in resistance and denial could prove exhausting and futile. Leaving you regretful and depressed. Self care will ease this reaction before it takes hold. Patience, acceptance, allowance and forgiveness for yourself most importantly is vital. Everyone’s approach is natural for them and fair for their own life, noone has the right to tell you your way of integrating is wrong. HOWEVER, staying open minded to those best intended supporters, those you trust most, is extremely important as these golden nuggets could be patchwork quilted together to form your own custom redesigned foundation for your future. Take what resonates to you from their well meaning advice and leave the rest in gratitude.
Within change lies so many emotions and relationships young and old have been casualties of many forms of change. Although the release of others can instill fear of abandonment, being alone and grief of the relationship, it is necessary to release others whose path you are longer meant to share. However to best honor what was between you is most comforting, where trying to hold tighter in a most unnatural resistant way can cause more pain and heartache.
So like treading water in the rapids, reserve your energy and go with the flow, don’t struggle against it. Use the current of change to slowly, or quickly, sweep you to the edges where safety and stronger footing can surely provide you with a more sound perspective of your circumstances. Use the reserved energy to heal and regather your wits before proceeding.
To anyone who feels battered and bruised from change, healing WILL come, just make sure you are open to it and give yourself permission to accept the peace after the storm. Many self sabotage and cause self inflicted pain to punish themselves for what they believe they may have been responsible, having made a mistake, causing what they may see as an act they could and should have avoided, and there by preventing painful change. What they don’t see is the seemingly random, yet actually, calculated acts of the universe offering you and others opportunities to grow and move forward to a better place. By self sabotaging they limit their vision and therefore do not see this opportunity, instead choose to stay trapped in a cycle of backwards obsessive thinking, regret, grief and self punishment. If after nonjudgmental, unconditionally loving, coaching/counseling concludes that asking forgiveness of self or others is appropriate, do so without expectation of outcome. Whether or not the other forgives is irrelevant after an offered apology. It is the self forgiveness that will give you the healing you search for. Surprisingly after forgiving is internal, external circumstances will follow suit.
Never forget that we are all feathers tossed around in the wind of fate, you are not alone. When and if you search for counsel, self care or simply a safe place to just ‘Be’, I invite you to visit us at Hybrid Hair and Detox Spa, and the Institute For Harmonious Living and enjoy our nurturing ways, through services geared to sooth your mind body and spirit.